Monday, January 23, 2012

God's Perfect Timing

     Today is a day that I will NEVER forget.   I gave up my lunch break to talk to one of my students who had a rough weekend.  For the sake of the story and respecting this student's privacy, we'll call him "Sean."   I currently don't have a "Sean" in any of my classes, so that's the best random name I can think of right now.

     Half way through my Tenor-Bass choir rehearsal today, I had noticed that one of my students either looked very sick, or very depressed.  Not being able to tell, and hoping to keep class moving, I asked him quietly, if he needed to go to the nurse, the counselor, or the restroom.  He didn't say much, but jumped at the opportunity to go to the restroom, but it was clear to me that he was upset, not sick.  Several minutes passed after he left the room, and I realized right before the end-of-class bell rang that he'd been gone for about 15 minutes.  But, given how upset he was, I trusted that Sean had gone to the counselor because he needed to talk to someone immediately.

     Well, after the bell rang and as the rest of the choir was leaving the room, I noticed that Sean was trying to squeeze back in to the choir room like a fish swimming upstream.  As soon as he made it back into the choir room, he just lost it!  He started screaming something, and was just sobbing on all fours.  I asked him what was wrong and if I could help, and he was finally able to get it out that someone had died over the weekend, but I still couldn't really understand him.  So, I asked him to come into one of our extra practice rooms for a minute to talk.  This was the start of my lunch break, and I've spent enough time talking with this student to know that this was the start of his lunch break too, so we weren't concerned about the time.

     We got into the practice room and I quickly learned that his dog had gotten out of his backyard on Saturday and was hit by a car.  He also told me that he had not slept or been able to concentrate on anything since the accident.  Sean, not knowing what it is like to drive a car and accidentally hit an animal, was angry because he assumed that this person was driving the car far too fast and made it a point to hit the dog on purpose.  Sean said that he and his family realized that later in the evening that this dog had not come back in from outside with the other dogs, so they went out looking for him.  He found the dog in the middle of the road.   Sean was extremely angry, and really struggled to grasp the idea, that these things just happen sometimes, and that you can't blame the person.  I asked him, "What if the car had swerved to miss the dog and ended up in an accident that had killed someone in the car?"  He started to calm down and admitted that he was happy that did not happen.

     The next few moments of our conversation is what will stick with me for the rest of my life.  His thoughts turned towards God.  Sean started saying and asking things like, "Why does this happen?"  "Why did God punish me?"  "Is this just some kind of horrible fate that God planned?"  "What could I have done to keep this from happening?"   Several things stirred up inside of me.  We went down those various thought processes, and I explained that in my mind God puts us through difficult things to teach us lessons that He thinks we need to learn.   I also explained that there is nothing you can do to go back and change what happened, and the only thing you can do is find someway to move on and grow from this experience.

     Sean then continued with explaining that one thing that was so hard going through his school day was that everybody around him seems to be in this "Fantasy World" where everything is perfect, and nothing can ever go wrong.  He started saying things like "Life sucks," "People are evil," and "God hates me."   He then looked at me and asked, "Mr. Kirkwood, have you ever lost someone that you cared about?" Wow.

     Like I wrote earlier, Sean and I have spent quite a bit of time talking through our lunch breaks this year, so I felt comfortable letting him into this little part of who I am.

     Six years ago, today, my uncle Mike passed away. It completely caught the family off guard, and none of us could have ever expected the horrible day that was January 23rd, 2006.  Over the last six years, I have been angry about losing Uncle Mike.  I have been sad.  I have questioned EVERYTHING.  I have blamed people.  I have blamed God.  I have wondered why things had to happen the way they did.  I have wondered "Why did this happen?"  I have wondered "Why did God punish our family?"  I have wondered "Is this some kind of horrible fate that God planned?"  I have wondered "What could I, and my family, done to keep this from happening?"  I had been so shocked to hear Sean asking these same questions that I have battled with for so long.

     So, after giving Sean an explanation of the loss that I've experienced, I realized what was happening. I finally realized that talking to Sean was a chance for me to finally talk through some of the things I had battled with, which finally led me to a small break through towards some of the questions I had asked for the past six years. By trying to help Sean find answers to his questions, I was finding the answers for my own questions. All I could think to do was look at him and say, "Sean, I've asked all of those same questions for myself over the last six years, and after talking to you, it is extremely clear to me why I had to go through that experience."  

     Terrible things happen, and we can spend our entire lives asking ourselves all these different questions.  Maybe someday, I'll have all my questions answered about what my family went through six years ago  and why those things happened.  But in the mean time, I am content to have learned the lesson, by helping my friend Sean, that sometimes God gives us wounds for the purpose of teaching us how to heal the wounds of others.

     For me, as a twenty-two year old college student, my wound was losing my uncle Mike.  For Sean, his wound was finding his dog in the middle of the road after being run over by a car.  He will likely spend the next several weeks, and months still asking those questions that he asked me today.  But, by sending Sean to ask me those questions today, God led me to at least one answer that I've been looking for for six years.   God has his own timing.

Thank you, God, for Uncle Mike




Saturday, January 21, 2012

NFL 2011 Conference Championship Week Picks


2011 Conference Championship Picks

Last Week's Record: (2-2)
Regular Season Record: (177-86)

http://scores.espn.go.com/nfl/intel?gameId=320122017
Patriots - W

http://scores.espn.go.com/nfl/intel?gameId=320122025
Giants - W

A rematch of Super Bowl XLII?!

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This Week's Record: (2-0) 

Saturday, January 14, 2012

NFL 2011 Divisional Round Picks


2011 Divisional Round Picks

Last Week's Record: (3-1)
Regular Season Record: (175-84)


New Orleans Saints @ San Francisco 49ers
Saints - L

Patriots -W

Giants - W


     I changed my pick on this game, and according to the media and the odds makers, it would be a huge upset if the Giants can pull this one out.  But, the more I think about it, I think the Giants offense can beat the Packers defense, and I think the Giants defense can shut down the Packers offense.  So, instead of looking at the crazy season that the Packers had, I just think the Giants are going to be more effective on both sides of the ball and pull of the upset.

Local Game of the Week:
Texans - L


     I think the Texans showed last week that giving Wade Phillips two times to see the same offense only adds up to the Texans defense having a dominant day.  I don't think the Ravens offense will be able to get much going against the Bulls on Parade with the way they are playing right now, and I think the Texans offense will be able to do much more than they did last time they faced the Ravens after getting Andre Johnson back.  Last week got out of control for the Bengals, and the final score looks like a blowout win for the Texans.  This week, I think the two defenses will show up and keep the offenses in check.  Texans will win with a score of something like 20-17.  At least, I can dream.  :)


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This Week's Record (2-2)










Saturday, January 7, 2012

NFL 2011 Wild Card Weekend Picks


2011 Wil Card Weekend Picks

Last Week's Record: (12-4)
Regular Season Record: (172-83)

Detroit Lions @ New Orleans Saints
Saints - W

Atlanta Falcons @ New York Giants
Giants - W

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Denver Broncos
Steelers - L

Local Game of the Week:
Holy Crap!!! I'm just happy there IS a "Local Game"!!!

Cincinnati  Bengals @ Houston Texans
Texans - W


     I think the Texans will be too amped up to lose this game.  The Texans defense will get to Andy Dalton more than they did last time and pressure him in to making some bad throws.  Also, with the addition of Andre Johnson back to the Texans offense, I think that will open up the Bengals defense and allow Ben Tate and Arian Foster to have big days.  I don't think it will be an easy game, but I think the Texans will win a close, low scoring game.  Something like 13-7, or 16-7.